Silent love makes impression in young woman’s cheated heart
Other languages: English, Deutsch
Date: April 2, 2010 , Originally published December, 1993
The many accounts of personal stories involving Medj. show how only the hand of God can get to the bottom of a person’s heart and radically change it.
This is the story of a young woman who lives in a religious community in Medj. She was born in a Catholic family; her parents practised their faith, but from when she was a little girl, she felt nauseated by everything they did. At first, out of respect, she hid these feelings from them, but when she was only 13, her heart was already distant from them, from prayer and from God.
One day she took flight, as it were to say. She started going out with her friends till late at night, drinking and smoking. Drugs became an ordinary part of her life; she left school, and gave herself, soul and body, to "free thinking programmes," which her friends offered her. She quickly sank into the muddy stream of immoral life.
Her dream had come true: no one could tell her what to do. For her the others were all cowards, failures or just ignorant. Nonetheless, she was tormented by a constant empty feeling, which contributed in making her more nervous and aggressive. She had everything she had ever dreamed of, but she was neither happy nor satisfied, and she threw herself all the more into drink and drugs; but things just got worse. In front of her friends she feigned happiness, but her soul was in anguish for something shecouldn’t find. She feared everything and everyone and didn’t have the strength or the will to return to her family; though she did try once but was met with a few harsh, arrogant words of accusation.
"It was another time though," she tells, "that I felt things were different. My parents were calmer and there was something in them that attracted me. It was then that they spoke about Medj., Our Lady, the messages, prayer, fasts and peace. And my heart had almost reached out to it, but I closed it up with a sense of contempt and profound hate. After that meeting, with all those radiant faces, talks of prayer and monthly confession, I was just irate. I went back to my old friends, but my parents were being more patient with me, they didn’t get as angry; and this made me furious. The emptiness in me was frightening, it dried up every drop of joy still in me and reflected on my face mutilated by ire.
My parents decided to return to Medj for Easter. Dad, Mum and my brother were so happy; and I was out of myself with anger. As much as my mother had tried to persuade me, with all her patience and love, I refused to go with them. I stayed home on my own, but I felt so tormented: where to go, what to do? Thinking of my friends, the drinks and amorous meetings didn’t help. I felt totally lost, and amid this confusion I decided to go to Medj. I got there after a 30 hour trip and found my family with the help of a priest. I told him that I didn’t really know why I was there, but he smiled and said: "The important thing is that you’re here. Our Lady will do the rest."
That sounded wonderful, but the first days weren’t good. I went up the hills, but I thought it was all crap and thought the others were so naive. Then it was Holy Thursday - but I didn’t even know what it meant anymore - and my mother invited me to the evening functions. "How long and boring," I thought.
After the Mass there was adoration, so I went to the chapel too and knelt down. Then all of a sudden I understood: God exists, love exists, life is a gift. And after the bitterness and the anxiety, my heart experienced serenity, peace and tenderness. And I understood: parents are wonderful, prayer is meeting God, the Church is our mother, Our Lady is the Mother of pureness, goodness, love and consolation, She is the woman who wins. Everything was new; and now I live in a community. I pray, fast, adore, and act as interpreter for the youth."
(From Glas Mira, Sept. ’93)